Beautiful Day!

Today I actually got up off my butt and did something. I met a good friend and went a yoga class. It's been a while since I've taken a class so I was a little worried. Boy did I get a good work out! At times my legs were shaking but I made it through the class.

After class we went to grab bite to eat and catch up. We had a great time - my friend always makes me laugh. How did I get so blessed to have such funny friends? We talked a good hour. As we walked up Eighth Avenue, we ran into one of our bosses at the theatre. He has a new dog! What a cutie.

It's getting closer to the theatre reopening. I can't believe it's been dark since the end of November. When we come back, there will be brand new seats and carpeting. From what our boss hinted at, we may be standing in the wings during the show? I have no idea what he's talking about because I think he wants to surprise us. God knows what he has planned for us. I'll just be glad to be working so I can stay out of trouble. As I get more news, I'll start reporting behind the scenes.

As always,
TOO

Dancing with the Stars!

Week 2
I'm so addicted. I couldn't get on to the show in it's first season but have slowly been becoming attached. I have to watch this season - mostly because I want to see how Joey Fatone does. I've always thought he had charisma (and I like the funny ones). I had seen him perform a couple times on Broadway over the years and there is just something about him that is enjoyable. He looks like he's having such a good time that you can't help but be drawn into his performance.

I think the competition is going to be tough this year. Leila Ali has got that fighter spirit and I think it's going to be her and Joey head to head. Exciting to say the least!
As always,
TOO

Spring has Sprung!

I haven't posted anything in a while. I couldn't think of anything to say or at least think of anything I thought was worth reading.

I love this time of year. I've never been a cold weather person. Us So Cal gals like the beach and fun in the sun! I am deeply affected by SAD and have an acceptionally difficult time in February. Like magic, I start to feel better the first day of March. Maybe it's all in my head. I can only report my personal experience.

The past six months have been a period of transition for me. I'm feeling that deep desire to create, do something...anything. I just can't seem to figure out what it is yet. I've always had a secret desire to write...so I've been writing and nothing seems to be coming of it. I've got several notebooks filled with my writing and most of it is nonsense. I guess there's still that deep fear of not being good enough or thinking who would care to read anything I wrote. I'm waiting for the muse to come and visit and tell me what it is I'm supposed to do. I'm still waiting....

As always,
TOO

Where is everybody?

I just realized I hadn't posted in a while. I found a new forum that I'm now addicted to. Part of the forum is a section about playing your way to better sex. I can't stay away. All of the posters are very funny and very intelligent. It's very free and open but not nasty or "dirty." There's a lot of sexual inuendo and play. Most of what I love is the humor. I believe if you can laugh about your sexuality, you've got a pretty healthy attitude towards sex. I've found it to be a safe place to discuss the differences between men and women, what people like and don't like but most of all, a place to express yourself without fear of judgement. If men and women could actually have open dialogues about sex, we would all have a much healthier attitudes towards the act. How else are we to find out what the other wants and not feel so ashamed about our bodies? Let's have more openness for all!

As always,
Too

Vision Boards

Recently I purchased a small bulletin board to start a vision board. I've been cutting out pictures and downloading places to put on this board. The purpose is to bring to mind all the things I'd like to manifest into my life. I've always been pretty good at bringing things into my life however lately, I've kinda lost focus. When I say lately, I don't mean the last couple months but the last few years. I feel I've made a positive change since the fall. It hasn't been all smooth sailing but I'm definitely made progress.

One of my strong suits is my ability to encourage others. I have a talent for spotting what it is people are trying to accomplish and pushing them gently on. I love to celebrate the best in others. There's something so wonderful about complimenting another. We just don't do it enough these days.

Back to the vision board...my goal is to put out as much positive energy to pave the way to happiness. I love to get that spark of inspiration and go with it. How exciting is that!

As always,
TOO

Psychic Sponges

I discovered today I am a psychic sponge. This is different than being a psychic vampire. A psychic vampire drains the energy from another either conscious or unconsciously. A psychic sponge feels the energy of those around him/her. This can be a good or bad thing. If the energy is uplifting, this can be a great experience. If the energy is "heavy," or negative, it can be very draining or overwhelming system.

I've always been one of those people that everyone comes to ask for information, help, directions and listen to their problems. I draw these people to me everywhere I go. I used to think I had a sign on my forehead that said "Help Desk." I can be in an unfamiliar city and I will be the one people stop to ask for help. Where ever I've worked, I could have hung a shingle outside my office and charged for therapy. I don't mind it except when people start to take advantage of my good nature.

I'm a great listener. I don't know where I got this skill but it had benefited me all my life. It's especially great in interviews - I hardly have to talk at all. Maybe I should have been an investigative reporter.

I used to be able to deflect the negative vibes around me fairly easily. Working in the hospital broke down a lot of my defenses. When left the hospital environment, I was able to build up my defenses but after being bombarded and attacked over and over (I mean emotionally and psychically), I was left completely open and vulnerable. I've become even more sensitive over the last year. I'm beginning to learn how to block the negative energy and ground myself. Sometimes I just have to separate myself from the oofenders. Of course when I'm around positive, happy people - bring it on!

As I learn more about this phenomenon, I'll share.

As always,
TOO

The Universe is Confusing

"Love removes masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within." -
James Baldwin

The last couple weeks have been very difficult. Not only am I dealing with the peak of my Seasonal Affect Disorder but I feel as if everyone doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Am I really that crazy? I can't tell because no one will talk to me....

I've had a very long history of not trusting people. There have been so many disappointments in my life that I turned off a lot of feelings just to protect myself from getting hurt. It also goes along with the pathology of low self-esteem and not feeling worthy etc... I've made a couple of close friends but only with great hesitation. I takes a great leap of faith on my part to let go enough to call someone a friend. I took that leap because I was told I wasn't crazy and I was a person worth getting to know. I laid all my feelings out on the line, thinking I'd found a friend that could accept me as I am... or so I thought. There comes a point in any relationship where you reveal deep secrets about yourself feeling a sense of release and security knowing that you won't be judged. This time it was going to be different. Then the past comes back to bite you.

I don't know if I pushed the boundaries of friendship, if I said something that was hurtful or whether I was just being strung along. When I let people know what's really going on inside my head, it's with the understanding that my intent is just to bring my thoughts to the surface for a little airing out and playtime. Something is definitely up though. No one is returning my emails. I guess I must have hopped on the crazy train on the way to insanity. I'm tired of opening myself up to be hurt. You're supposed to learn from every situation and grow. What I've learned is it's better to keep my mouth shut and close myself off then to allow others to get too close and hurt me. I left myself wide open and vulnerable and was stomped on. It's going to take a while to trust again, if I ever get to that point again in this lifetime....

As always,
TOO

Ask, Believe, Recieve

Boy I love wine....

I'm sitting here watching the Oscars and drinking wine and getting that warm fuzzy feeling. There's nothing better than that warm fuzzy feeling...well, I can think of one.

I've been contemplating my life's purpose lately. I know what it is I'm here to do, at least I think I know what I'm here to do. My natural being is that of a healer. It is my purpose to help others. I'm cool with that. It's something I'm very good at. The problem I'm having is finding the medium in which to fulfill that purpose. I started out wanting to be a performer. It's something I always did growing up. I loved to play instruments, sing, act and dance and always managed to find an outlet to perform.

As I approached adulthood, performing is what I set my sights on. I lost my path for a short time while working to earn money. I realized very quickly that I wasn't happy and wanted to go back to college to earn a degree in performing arts. I figured it was a way to get experience and fulfill my other desire to get a degree. My step-father wasn't to keen on me getting a degree in theatre but I was determined to go for it. He told me he would not support my decision to earn a degree in performing arts but I didn't care. A couple weeks before I was to start back up again at a new school, my step-father died. How ironic. After my step-dad's death, my Mom confided in me that she always wanted me to follow my dream of performing and would do anything she could to support me. I did finish my degree and moved to NYC to pursue more skills and was accepted in a conservatory program.

I seemed to be on the right path and then everything changed. Through circumstances, I had to change my plans because of a back injury. I had to have surgery so I left the program. After the surgery while recuperating I had to get a job to support myself. I had always planned to go back to performing. My life took a different path. I got married, had a child and found I had even more responsibilities and put my dreams even further on the back-burner. The older I got, the more I began to thing that any career performing was just a fantasy. I now find my older and wanting to get back to want I originally wanted to do. but how do I start off performing after all these years. I know the kind of dedication it takes to succeed. Am I up for the task? I don't know but it's time to go for it! Maybe that's the wine talking, I don't care. May be the wine is just bringing to the surface what's always been there but I've been denying. I guess I'll know when I re-read this tomorrow. Let's see what the universe unfolds before me over the next few days...

As always,
TOO

???

How do you know when you are following your life's path? I feel as if I've been floundering for years. When I was in my early twenties, I knew exactly what I wanted and set out to attain my goals. I was progressing along nicely and then everything changed. I don't know how I lost my way. I had always planned to get back on track - it just didn't happen.

I had always wanted to be a performer. It's what I loved from the time I was little. It didn't matter if I was dancing, singing in chorus, performing on stage or in marching band. I loved to perform. There's a certain personality type that gets drawn into the performing arts. Frequently it's the introverted, intuitive types that get sucked in because it's a way to get attention they crave but are too shy to get it under normal circumstances. Usually there are self esteem issues so the performer must seek out self worth by what others think and project on them. I was no different. I longed to be the center of attention but didn't want to toot my own horn. You get to pretend to be someone else which allows you to do things you wouldn't normally do. I never felt so free as when I was performing. I felt unstoppable.

Years later, I am far removed from the stage. It's been years since I did any performing and I really miss it. At this point, it seems insurmountable to even consider performing again. I know what it takes to get back into it and I don't think I have the patience or energy to deal with all the egos anymore. The problem is, whenever I see a performance that's truly inspired by someone talented, those jealous heart strings start to get the better of me. "I could do that!!!" I could do that better!!" You see the joy and presence and want to be a part of it.

At this point in my life, I don't know what to do with myself. I love learning new things and using the creative parts of my brain. I want to have fun and add joy back into my life. It has been thrown in my face that we should "follow our bliss." I do believe that is the key to happiness. I just don't know what my bliss or passion is. there are so many things I want to do, I just can't pick one. So I sit here contemplating what I should do. I know that once I have a goal and know where I'm headed, everything will fall into place. I need to find that joy. Any suggestions?

As always,
TOO

I have just not felt like blogging lately. Nothing interesting has happened at all. I continue to be out of work from my theatre job. As a result, there's no extra cash flow to do anything. I sit at home surfing the internet or reading most of the time.. Granted, we all need a little down time but this is ridiculous. It's been almost three months and it may be another two or so months. It may be longer.

I had planned to use this time to figure out what I want to do. I keep getting great ideas, at least they seem great at the time and then get shot down by my roommate. I think it's time to get a new roommate. I feel as though I have anchors tied to my feet keeping me from taking off. I never planned for life to be this way. The last fifteen years have been so depressing. Yes, I've been through a lot and I wouldn't be the person I am today were it not for all the crap in my life.

When is it supposed to get good? I am tired of living for the future. I want to live in the now and enjoy every damn minute. I want to wake up every morning excited with anticipation for what the day will bring. I want to have fun everyday. There's only one problem; I have no idea what to do with myself. If I have a goal, I can get focused and take off. I have no goal and no passion at the moment. I am presently just existing. Would someone please shake me up and get me moving?

As Always,
TOO

Love?

I spent the better part of today reading posts on one of my favorite forums, the PPK. Someone had started a thread on National Depression Day or Valentine's Day for the Lonely. How is it that some find that person or at least always have someone's eyes to gaze in to and others just can't seem to find anyone? Then there are those who have someone but don't really want to be with them. Why is love so elusive? Have we over-romaticised relationships?

I know very few people that are totally happy with the one they're with. In fact I can count on one hand the couples that are truely happy. I don't know what they have over the rest of us. Maybe they won the lottery in the relationship department. I don't mean to sound bitter but I'm so tired of all the crap they show on TV about how wonderful love is. There's a commercial of couple sitting in front of a fountain; the man kneels down to propose to his wife to re-marry him. She turns around to find her parents and other family members waiting for her response, which is of course, yes! Everytime I see that commercial I scream st the TV "Don't do it!!" Far too many people get married these days. How do I know it's too many? Because the divorce rate is so high. It continues to hover around 50%. That's a big problem. I guess were in love with love and can't really see beyond the ceremony. I think some get married thinking "I'll do this for a while and see what happens." If you can't see yourself with your soon to be mate when you're old and wrinkly or sick and bed-ridden, then that's not love.

I just don't think people know what love is. When you truly love someone, you are at peace. You give and don't expect anything in return. It comes easy and natural. You don't have to think about it. When I hear people ask "how do you know it's love?" that means you have no clue. I don't think anyone has difficulty recognizing love for their children. Somehow we lose that inner knowledge when it smells wonderful and looks sexy. I do hope that i will be pleasantly surprised someday.

As always,
TOO

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

This Means War

I have had it! This virus, whatever it is has settled in my chest. I had a terrible time sleeping last night and woke up really cranky. Throughout the day I've been feeling all this crap in my chest. It hurts to cough and I have a strange taste in my mouth. I've been drinking hot tea and my top secret spicy hot lemonade. Actually it's not a secret - it's lemon juice, cayenne pepper, hot water and sweetened with a little maple syrup. Maybe I'll put some ginger in it next time. I wish I had a suction device and tubing so I can suck the mucos right out. I know that sounds gross but I really don't care right now.

Hot, Hot, Hot

Well, I tried to sleep in today knowing full well I need the extra rest to get over this cold. UnfortunateIy my body was not a willing participant in the rest department. I was up at 7am this morning. I hate it when I get sick. At least my throat doesn't hurt as much as it did yesterday and my body is no longer achy. I spent as much time as I could resting throughout the day.

For dinner I made a Southwestern Chili Corn Soup with lots of hot peppers. Luckily the peppers opened up the sinuses. The problem with using hot peppers is the heat factor. You have to be very careful how you handle hot peppers - if the capsasin gets on your hands it can burn the skin...not to mention anything else you touch. The last couple times I used hot peppers I didn't wear gloves while choping them and had burning fingers the next couple days. Tonight I wore a glove on the hand that handled the peppers. The glove was a little too big for my hand so I had difficulty keeping the tips of the glove out of the knife's way. Don't worry, I didn't get any vinyl in the soup. The soup turned out rather nice for all.

As always,
TOO

I hab a code in my nose..

I never get sick but everyone around me is ill. People can drop like flies and I never catch it. So why on earth am I getting sick? I woke up with a sore throat this morning and have felt like crap all day today. I'm starting to get that achy feeling in my upper back, my arms feel heavy and I'm exhausted. I did not feel like doing anything today but I had a work study day today. I managed to get through the day and now I'm at home having a pity party. I should go to bed but I'm restless so here I sit typing nonsense. It doesn't matter what I write because no one is reading it anyway.

Nothing else to add. Have a good one.

As always,
TOO

Everybody Dance!

Last night I braved the cold and made my way to Madison Square Garden for a concert. I hadn't been to a concert since i took my youngest last year to see Billy Joel. I went with my friend Jessica to see Justin Timberlake. Yes ladies and gents, I love JT! Now you all know my secret. I've had this thing for JT for years - ever since his NSYNC days. I know boy bands are now passe, but how could I not be enamored with guys singing and dancing. Say what you will but as far as harmonies go, NSYNC was a vocally tightknit group. Of course there was all the "lip-syncing" controversies in the past but I can assure you I've heard them sing a capella live.

Last night at the Garden was the place to be. Even the Donald was there a few rows ahead. In the past it was hip to make fun of Mr. Timberlake but even the New York Times has reported that it's now very cool among the older hipsters to like Justin. There was a much older crowd then I've seen in the past. Where were you all five years ago? I was enjoying his music before it was even cool. You all are poser fans!

The concert was great - a very nice mix of singing, dancing and sitting at the keyboards crooning away. JT always manages to have the crowd in the palm of his hand. There was a couple songs from the last album and many from the new. It's amazing to be in the crowd for his concerts - they are fully an audience participation event. JT can sing any of his songs, stop mid-phrase and the audience will complete it. He frequently has the audience sing the chorus. I love it when he teaches the audience a phrase and melody and then sings on top while we provide the backup. What more could you ask for?

So if you see me, don't make fun of my love for JT. When you are in the audience, and participate in the experience, then we'll talk. Until then, keep your comments to yourself!

As always,
TOO

In the Dumps!

I don't know what my problem is. I seem to go from feeling pretty good to feeling lousy. Actually I do know why. Sometimes you want something, something you were so close to and within reach but you just can't have it, for whatever reason. There was something I really wanted but didn't get. I am reminded of it often. I know I should let it go but a part of me wants to keep holding on to whatever part I can keep. It's not healthy.

The other problem is something else I need to get rid of. I'm ready to get it out of my life but I don't know how. It would cause a great hardship but I know deep down inside it's the right thing to do. No one can help me with either of these problems. it's mine to conquer. Neither of these problems are unique to anyone. I know I must work on both of these problems if I am to grow as a person.

This is my mission this year.

Wish me luck!

As always,
TOO

BRRrrrrrrr!

It is cold. Damn cold! The wind chills have dipped below 0 these past couple days. This is the type of weather where you want to stay inside in front of a fireplace and eat comfort food. A companion would be nice to go along with that but let's not be greedy.

Before I lived in NYC, I never really thought about the cold weather much. When you live in a car society, the only time you spend out in the cold is to and from the car. Here in New York, unless you are among the wealthy with a driver to take you everywhere, you have no choice but to go out into the cold. To accomplish this feat, layer upon layer of clothing must be donned. By the time you have on the long underwear, clothing, the sweater, sweatshirt, pullover then jacket, scarf and hat, you are a massive, puffy blob. You can't hear or see. If you need to go shopping, navigating through a store is next to impossible. You can't walk by a shelf without knocking something over - but with all the layers on, you can't feel or hear that you've done anything. To compare, I imagine it would be like wearing one of those theme park character costumes - you need a guide to get around and if you're not careful, you could knock over a small child. You'd never know.

I shouldn't be complaining. So far we've had a very mild winter. Only a couple of weeks ago we reached a high of 72 degrees. But does the temperature have to be so extreme? These are the days I wish I lived back in Southern California. The only time I was able to experience the cold and snow when I live there was when we went to the mountains. I remember one winter around my birthday, I went with a friend to the beach. I think the outside temperature was a balmy 75 but the water temp was unbearable. But who cared? We were at the beach in January! Those were the days. When I remember those times, it makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing here in NYC. Now I know why so many that live here travel to Florida at ths time of year. I think it's time to start planning my getaway or move....

As always,
TOO

Cupcakes for All!

I am obsessed with cupcakes right now. Well, actually I've always been obsessed over cupcakes but I was sidetracked for a little while. It's time to get back in my groove. These are the cupcakes I made yesterday. I've been thinking about taking a cake decorating class so I can expand on my skills. I had been in Cupcake Cafe earlier in the day to look at their cupcakes because they have beautiful presentation but their cupcakes leave a lot to be desired. They tend to be very dry and hard.

I've always loved baking. My mom taught me how to cook and bake at a very early age and left me unsupervised in the kitchen very young. This could have turned into a tragedy but I've only been burned badly once when I was eight and I tried to cut my finger off at fifteen but those are stories for another time. When I was a young adult, I worked a national donut chain. That's where I honed my skills in baking bringing organization and speed into the mix. I haven't worked in the food industry for many, many years but I still use some of the tricks I learned. While I worked for the donut chain, I was the muffin, cookie, brownie person. I seemed to have been relegated to this task because the product I turned out was very consistent. Some people got it... some don't. I guess I'm one of the ones that have it, whatever it is.

I always want to go to cooking school because I have a thing for food. I love to look at it, buy it, prepare it, cook it and then eat it. Because I was introduced to the kitchen at such an early age, I've never been intimidated by cooking and baking. I'm addicted to buying cookbooks. Trying out new recipes is how I relax. The fun part is putting my own unique spin on a recipe to make it my own. Changing a recipes is fairly easy to do in cooking; baking however, is a different animal. Baking is all about chemistry. You can adjust the flavors fairly easy but you have to be careful with your leavening agents otherwise you can end up with something you can use as a blunt object or have it fall apart before you ever get it to the plate.

This past year, my baking went in another direction when I decided to give up animal products. Yes, I decided to go vegan. I can't say that it's been easy and I haven't been 100% vegan. There's been some fish a few times and every once in a while I will try a bite of a baked item from a high end bakery mostly because I want to feel the texture and taste the flavor. Then I think on how I can veganize it. I have a fabulous brownie recipe that I'm working on. When I get it right, it will be death by chocolate!

So here's to cupcakes for one and all!

As always,
TOO

There are no two ways about it. I am a addicted to Tings. Tings are my favorite junk food. They're so simple...just corn meal, rice and/or sunflower oil, nutritional yeast and salt. I wish I knew how to make them. Then again, it's good that I can't - I wouldn't be able to stop eating them. The reason I love Tings so much is they remind me of Cheetos - the crunchy Cheetos. I loved those as a kid. These days I won't touch Cheetos because of all the crap in them. I've tried some of the other products made by Robert's American Gourmet - Pirate's Booty, Veggie Booty and Smart Puffs but I always come back to Tings. I checked out the website for Robert's American Gourmet and they have another snack called Cocoa Booty. I haven't seen that on the shelf. Cocoa Booty may be good but I'll still come back to my Tings.
As always,
TOO

I must have a sign on my forehead that says "please ask me; I will help." It doesn't matter where I am, a street corner, the subway platform, even as a tourist in another city; I will be the one people approach to ask for direction or help. I don't know why but it's been like that my whole life. I've often wondered why I'm the one people approach. What makes them pick me over everyone else? Is it the look on my face? Do I look non-threatening?

Someone once said I look like I know what's going on. How does one look like that? I think it must be the energy that surrounds me. It must be very inviting. Whatever job I'm at, I'm the one that people come to for advice - as if I'm an authority on anything. I have a way of encouraging people to open up and tell me their deepest, darkest secrets and the funny thing is, I don't do anything. Somehow I instinctively ask the right questions that illuminate the crux of the problem and head them in the right direction for the answers they need. And I reiterate, I don't so anything. I feel like the guy in the Kleenex commercial with his couch set up outdoors and then random people sit down and open up with whatever is bothering them.

I guess what it comes down to is I'm a great listener. I would much rather listen most of the time than worry what I'm going to say. Not that I don't like to comment or add my two cents here or there. The only time I don't like listening is when the other person won't let me get a word in edgewise or they babble on and on without saying anything.

Now this is completely off topic but I want to bitch a moment about riding the subway. This is not an affront to mass transit but the people that ride the subway. This morning I was lucky enough to get a seat as I entered the train. I sat down next to a large person on my right. This person wasn't exceptionally large but definitely overweight. Most of the trains have these indented seats on the bench - basically to let you know where you butt is supposed to go. I think these were made this way to keep people from taking up too much room. However, this does not stop people from spilling over their allotted space. I am not condemning large people but it is very annoying when those larger individuals take up two or three spaces. What's even worse is when a big person decides they are going to sit in between two people when it's obvious they are not going to fit. They didn't get this large overnight, so how is they have no body/spatial awareness? If you are a Macy's Thanksgiving Day balloon, you're not going to fit through the Lincoln tunnel while inflated. It's simple physics.

Back to this morning...I was sitting there minding my own business when I saw this very large ass getting closer to me. This ass belonged to a very, very large person who decided they were going to fit in between me and another person in the designated tiny hiney seat. I don't know what this ass was thinking but I was trying not to get sat on. As it turned out, the ass could not fit, (duh) so the ass landed on the edge of the seat trying to keep from falling off. Wouldn't it have been better not to try to force their way in? So now I'm mushed in between two people, determined not to give up my seat because I was there first. When I finally got to my stop, I had to wedge myself out between the two large ones. Unfortunately I did not have any Vaseline. I managed to get up and as I left the subway car, sure enough, the ass sat all the way back on the bench, taking up two seats! Ah me...

As always,
TOO

Once in a while there are those days when something happens that turn out to be a blessing and a curse.

I was sitting in the bedroom this evening, surfing the net with the tv on in the background. As I sat there I heard a strange noise. Now we've had a mouse problem of and on lately, especially when the weather gets really cold. I started to listen more closely...it almost sounded like dripping water. I was too far away from the kitchen or bathroom to hear a sound like this. It's not like the tinkling noise you hear in the pipes when the heat comes up. This sounded like a drip, drip, drip. I'm looking around - I don't see water anywhere. Then I looked up at the ceiling in the corner by the closet. Is that a stain on the ceiling? I got up to get a closer look - it looks like the ceiling is wet but no water dripping. Then I noticed the ceiling starting to buckle. Crap! There must be a leak in the apartment above.

I know work was being done in the apartment above me today. Maybe someone left the water running. I sent one of my kids upstairs - no water running and none on the floor. Great! It's in between the floors. I called the landlord who came running up the stairs to take a look. As soon as he saw the ceiling he ran to get the tall ladder to get up closer to the ceiling (I have very high ceilings). He felt the ceiling - yup, it was soft and mushy. We had to get a bucket and then he poked his finger through the ceiling when all this water came out...whoosh! It took several minutes for the water to drain. Then he started to pull the ceiling down. Eventually he had to cut a large square out.

You can guess this was the cursed part but here's the blessing; if the leak had been a few inches further to the left, it would have started to leak in the closet, all over clothes. I'm not usually home on Saturday evenings - here I was, home, in the bedroom so I could hear it before it burst through the ceiling. Last but not least, the leak could have started in the middle of the night - over the bed. Thank god it wasn't over the bed! I can just imagine being woken up with the ceiling haven fallen on me, soaking wet.

So you see, sometimes things turn out to be a blessing AND a curse. Now I just need to get the big hole in my ceiling repaired...

As always,
TOO

I had so many plans for the new year. Not resolutions but goals - plans to focus on for the year. My biggest goal was to let my friends know how much I appreciate and love them - something I don't have a problem doing because I really do love my friends...most of them anyway.

Love is a funny thing, if you can call it a thing. I had my weekly lunch with a friend a couple days ago. We always go to the same place. The owner was sitting in the dining area preparing packaged items to be delivered to area stores while her husband worked in the back preparing food. My friend asked her how she met her husband and suddenly her eyes lit up and a huge smile spread across her face. She started to giggle as she told the story of how they met in a dance class. She was working on a one woman show and had taken a tap class - he happen to be the instructor. It was all she could do to contain herself in the class, giggling and flirting all the way through. He didn't notice her during the class. After class, she got up the nerve to introduce herself after class. He moved in a week later.

I guess it can happen that fast. I've never seen it. I'm not very good at flirting. Most of the time I ignore any man's attempt to get to know me because I have a basic distrust of men. Make that straight men. All of my male friends are gay so I don't have to watch out for ulterior motives. Correction, I have one male friend other than my roommate that is straight. He's the only straight man I haven't run away from and there's no reason to run because we don't live in the same town anymore. Usually when a man comes on strong or gets to close and invades my personal space, I retreat. How is it I only have one straight male friend? Probably because all of the men I know are gay. But this brings me back to the straight guy. I didn't run away because I couldn't. I don't mean that I literally couldn't move - I didn't want to run because I was so fascinated by this person. He made me laugh and I will never run away from a laugh.

Is it possible for men and women to be friends without the sexual tension underneath? You tell me. I haven't had enough experience being friends with men that aren't gay. I think it's possible. There's still those times that I begin to question it all. I was at a party recently and there was a couple there - the wife I've know forever and her husband I've only met a few times over the years. For some reason, I started to feel very uncomfortable around her husband. He wasn't saying anything wrong - it was his body language. Every time I turned around, he was there. He would start up a conversation and then lean in as if it was too loud in the room and he had to get closer for me to hear him. It started to creep me out. As I mentioned, I'm not very good at flirting but I can tell when someone is coming on a little too strong. I can read body language. When I start to get that kind of signal, I squash it as quickly as I can, usually by not acknowledging the person until they give up. Luckily the party wasn't too long and on my way out the door, there was the obligatory hugs to everyone. Wouldn't you know it, this guy made sure to get a long-ass hug and then planted a big one on me before I could get away. And right in front of his wife! Why couldn't it have been someone I was at least attracted to.

This leads me to the question of what happens when the shoe is on the other foot? As I said, I'm not very good at flirting so when a man I'm attracted to starts to pay any attention to me I can't help myself. I become possessed and will do anything I can to keep the attention focused on me. I am so transparent it's laughable. There was once this man I really wanted to get to know better - I don't mean friends - I mean KNOW. I did my best to remain calm and collected but I'm sure he knew what I was thinking. To a certain extent, I think he encouraged it and was sending signals back that he was interested as well but the both of us were too chicken to do anything. It sure made for a good time whenever we were in the same room together. Boy, I wish I could go back and do it all over again. More than likely i would make the same choices and nothing would happen. Oh well. That's what fantasies are for...

As always,
TOO

Last night I saw a friend who also happens to be clairvoyant. I've seen her from time to time over the last few months and everytime I see her she tells me the same thing: I am not living up to my potential. She seems to think there's this sensual goddess within me just screaming to get out. Huh. I don't know what to say. She suggested I start to dress differently and wear clothing to show off my curves. Okay, I know where that came from - I was dressed rather dowdy last night. It's was very cold yesterday and I had been chilled all day so I had a turtle-neck with a loose fitting grey sweater top. Yep, pretty dowdy. Here's the thing - I thought I had been dressing more sensuous. I dropped a few pounds, got a pair of sexy jeans that make my butt look fabulous and started wearing tight fitting tops - that's pretty sexy as far as I'm concerned. The problem is when I dress like that, I tend to get a lot of comments and attention from men - the kind of men I don't want attention from. Now I know men look. We all look. What I can't stand are the "Hey baby. " "I need to get me some of that!" and "Daaamn!" I don't mind when my girlfriends tell me my ass "looks good in those jeans" because I know there's no ulterior motive. Of course the person or persons I want to comment never say anything. Go figure.

Another suggestion from my psychic friend is to do things/activities with my hands and go to the museum often. She says I express myself through art and music. I do love music and arts and crafts. I listen to music as much as I can but I don't play or perform anymore. So I give private concerts for myself. As far as arts and crafts - I don't really have any talent in any specific area. When I do a project, it's because I've been inspired or had a vision and feel compelled to complete it. Sometimes it turns out well and sometimes it's a hideous failure. I think I'm fairly good at spatial relationships and composition but I don't have any aptitude for drawing or painting. I've always wanted to be able to draw but I don't have discipline or enough patience. I want it done NOW!

I did go to the museum today. I wanted to find a painting from the 17th century that would embody what I want to project. I went looking for paintings by Rubens (I identify with the women in the paintings) but none of them spoke to me. As I walked through the museum, I was drawn to the beauty of the sculptures - all of them in the likeness of real women - with curves! I think more young woman should go to the museum and see what women are supposed to look like and not the walking skeletons of the fashion industry.

Next on my stop was the modern impressionists (my favorite section of the museum) but - it was closed! Apparently the paintings are on loan to another museum. I love Cezanne , van Gogh, Renoir and Monet among others. I could sit in that section all day. I don't know why those paintings speak to me but I love 'em. Perhaps it's because I would like to live in those paintings. Oh well, I'll catch it next time. I was told the section would open up again in the next few months...

The Tiffany exhibit was amazing. Wow! The colors were so vibrant. I had gone early in the day, went to get some lunch and then went back to walk through the exhibit again. It's definitely worth seeing.

Here's to all my friends - if you have any suggestions as to how I should dress, please let me know. I guess I'm in need of a make-over!

As alwasys,
TOO

Why won't people leave my car alone? I don't know what it is but my dilapadated jalopy is always being messed with. I've lived in my neighborhood just over three years. The first month after moving in, my antennae was snapped off. A couple weeks later the lock on my trunk was broken. I figured someone was trying to break into the trunk, couldn't get in so the lock was jammed out of frustration. That lock has been jammed three more times ove the last couple years. Not such a big deal but it costs about $100 every time I have to replace it. My window has been cracked and the hubcaps stolen. I don't understand why anyone would want to the hubcaps - they were the original cheap plastic covers that snapped into place.

It's not like I drive an expensive car - it's now sixteen years old. I can't remember the last time I washed it - I'm afraid to. The only thing holding the car together is the dirt and grime. I will drive that car until it falls apart underneath me. Lately someone has been bending the front end license plate. I should say folding...whoever it is keeps folding the left side of the plate towards the middle. I don't know if someone is trying to send me a message...what could the messege be? Don't park here...move out...your car is ugly...your guess is as good as mine. I don't really care if they mess with the car. Yes, it's convenient when I need to get out of town but lately the only time I drive the car is to move it for opposite side of the street parking rules. Other than driving to Queens for New Year's Eve, I haven't gone anywhere in months. Perhaps I should just get rid of the car all together.

That car has served me well. I've driven to St. Louis and back twice, three round trips to Florida, trips to numerous to count to the Poconos, to Boston, DC, Virginia and many other places I can't remember right at the moment. Yes, lots of wonderful memories.

Anyone want a car?

As always,
TOO

I've noticed something extraordinary in the last couple weeks. One of my resolutions for the new year was to be more positive and generous with my love to everyone. One of the wonderful benefits I've noticed is an increase in joy. To be more specific, I've been laughing at things I might have found just mildly amusing a short time ago. As I start to laugh, a wave of goes through my body from head to toes and back up to my belly causing me to convulse in pure ecstasy. My body sways back and forth like Keith Richards on speed, my arms waving around as if fighting off demons. I start laughing so hard I can barely breath, squeezing every last breath out of my lungs. My face turns bright red. I can't stand nor can I sit. I now begin to think my body has been possessed by a spirit that won't let me stop and surely I will die soon from lack of oxygen. At least I'll go happily on to the other side.

I'm not complaining...I love the fact that I have been laughing and enjoying life so much, regardless that I look like an attendee at a charismatic church revival - it's still the greatest feeling and I wish it on everyone.

Well, maybe not the drunken sailor dance.

May you all have joy and laughter today!

As always,
TOO

Today is my birthday. I am twenty-five... again. I spent most of the day by myself. I went to the movies to see Borat and Iaughed so hard my abs hurt. Just thinking of certain scenes starts me off again. Sasha Baron Cohen is one of those performers that you either love or hate. In his performances he either rises to the top or crashes and burns - there's no in between. Whether you like him or not, you have to admire someone that goes for it with as much passion as he does. We should all hope to be as passionate in our lives - we won't be able to stop ourselves from succeeding.

It is gloomy and drizzly in NYC today. I haven't felt like doing much of anything today. I know I should exercise...

I have been contemplating the universe this week, trying to figure out relationships, love, feelings, thoughts and what I should be doing with myself. I've realized there are no shoulds. Everyday is a new day to create what you want in life. There's no rule that it says it has to be the same day after day. I forget that from time to time. The wonderful thing about life is never knowing how each day will turn out. Sure, we can hope or wish for a certain outcome but I think we put to much emphasis on the results rather than the journey. I like not knowing.

I miss that feeling I had as a child; when I wanted to do something, I would do it for the joy and pleasure it brought me, not for how I would feel afterwards. When you're a child, there is no afterwards, only now. Why does it have to be so difficult as an adult to know and be in the moment? We get distracted by every little detail. Sometimes it's best not to think and just do!

Four years ago during Easter vacation, I decided to take a road trip with the kids to Florida. Having grown up in SoCal, I've always loved the warm weather and the beach (and palm trees) and after dealing with the cold and snow, I needed to get away. I planned to drive all the way...if you've never driven from NYC to central Florida, it's about a thousand miles. Most people would not be looking forward to spending 24 hours of drive time in a car with two boys. I couldn't wait to go. I had the hotel lined up in Florida but did not make any reservations for the drive down because I wasn't sure when i would stop. It would depend on my energy level and how much buttitis I had from sitting in the car. I didn't worry one bit about finding hotels on the way down. Now you'd think I would have made arrangements to be on the safe side, knowing it was a holiday week and everyone from New York would be on the road to Florida. I didn't have a single problem finding a room on the way there or back. Now my point here was not the trip but the way events played out. Here's why I think it went so well:

1. I had no doubt we would find hotel rooms.
2. There was great joy and excitement just knowing we were on our way.
3. I knew we would have a good time.

It all worked out because I did not worry or fret over any of the trip and just focused on gettng there and then how much fun we would have. No worries entered my mind at all - they didn't exist. I'm beginning to see that the more sure we are of something (instead of just wishing it so) pretty much guarantees success. Okay, everyone can find exceptions. We need to strive to experience life just as a child sees and experiences the joy in everything, It's time to get that sense of play back in our lives.

Take a moment to do something you enjoy tomorrow. Don't think about it, just do it! What have you got to lose?

And I did get that exercise in...

As always,
TOO

This morning I was reminded of a friend that passed on almost thirteen years ago. He would have been 53 today. I can't help but smile when I think of him. He was one of the most flamboyant characters I've ever known. A southern boy from Tennessee, he came to NYC to find himself, fit in and make his mark. His sense of style was like no other. He had a penchant for wearing enormous bow ties and thermal underwear as everyday wear with army boots as a statement of his individuality. And somehow, he could pull it off. You could sense his energy when he entered a room - how could you miss him in that attire! His idea of a well balanced meal was vodka and Entenmann's chocolate chip cookies. As much as he loved and enjoyed life, he had a knack for self-destructive behavior. Although he lived fast and hard, he embraced every moment. Here's to you T!

Bless your heart!

As always,
TOO

As I get older, I've realized we are all born with certain gifts. What is so wonderful, everybody's gifts are different, we are all unique in our talents. I had an epiphany this evening. I know what my gift is. I have no idea what took me so long to come to this conclusion..it's something I've been doing since I was sixteen. If there were competitions based on degree of difficulty and awards given for this gift, my mantel would be covered with trophies.

What gift am I talking about?

I am the world's best parallel parker! When I was learning how to drive in high school, this was a skill I picked up on immediately. I have great depth perception and excel at spatial relationships. We did not get to practice very much in driver's ed but I wasn't worried. When I took the driver's exam, I pulled it right in the space! Now I have to say, living in St. Louis at the time, there was not a lot of call for parallel parking but when I moved to NYC, HELLO...parallel parking everywhere!

Okay, I drive a smaller car (Geo Prism - manual of course) but I get to practice my skills a few times a week playing the opposite side of the street parking game. You can only park on certain sides of the street depending on the day. New Yorkers in general are not so good at fitting their vehicles properly on the street. This creates a problem of odd sized spaces along various streets. The bigger cars and SUVs are unable to fit in these odd spaces. The great thing about having a smaller car is it can sometimes fit in these spaces that the other cars can't. I can get into the tightest of spaces and fit my car with mere inches to spare. When it's that tight, I may have to scoot back and forth several times to inch it in but if it will fit, I'll get it in the space. Perhaps I should start a competition so I can show off my skills. Any takers?

With the new year brings thoughts on goal setting, new activities to try, places to go and changes to make. I've been doing a lot of reading on creative visualization and manifesting your desires the last few weeks. The picture is the top of a box I've decorated to put ideas, dreams, goals and wishes in. It's my "magic box." I painted it myself and although I'm not really a painter, I'm very proud of the palm tree. I hope that reviewing the contents will keep me focused on the things I want to accomplish this year. I'll keep you posted.

The theatre is still closed, so I have a lot of time on my hands to think and read. Perhaps I've been pondering too much because I've been writing what ever pops into my head without much thought and I may have pissed someone off with my ramblings. I'm working on being very honest with my feelings not only with myself but my friends and family as well. I've spent a lifetime keeping my mouth shut and not sharing what I really feel with others out of fear of rejection. No more. Nothing I've said was cruel or nasty, it may be I'm saying some things people don't want to hear or acknowledge. Anything I say truly comes from a place of love and not anger. Oh well, can't do anything about it now. Regardless, I love you all!

I have a birthday coming up next week. I'm not sure how I feel and I have no idea how to celebrate it. Friends and family have been asking what I want to do. Every year we end up going to dinner somewhere and usually have a good time, except last year. I had been to a restaurant with a friend on the Upper West Side that is very health conscious with vegetarian choices. We thoroughly enjoyed our meal so I thought it would be a good place to go, with something for everyone. It was a nightmare. The service was slow and disorganized and the food was terrible. I don't know what happened. But as usual, a family member got a little loud resulting in me wanting to slip under the table and disappear. Maybe that's the reason I'm so hesitant to come up with a plan this year. You can never please everyone. If I could do anything I wanted, I would hop on a plane to someplace warm with a beach and palm trees. Or maybe a cruise in the Bahamas...never been on a cruise before. Hey - a dream to put in my magic box!

So here I sit thinking about another birthday coming and going wondering how the year will go. Before I know it, another year will have passed by but not before I accomplish the things contained within the box....

You never know what the day will bring. Yesterday was one of those days like no other. It was the first day back to work at the day job after being off for 2 1/2 weeks. Morning time was pretty normal getting ready for work. Didn't have to wait for a train when I got to the subway. When I got off at my stop in the Village and came up the stairs, I immediately noticed it smelled like gas. I looked around and didn't see any Con Ed trucks or workers and no one else seemed too concerned so on I went to work. As I got closer to work I kept thinking, "Gee, the smell isn't going away." It was following me. Still, no one else noticed or cared. Must be me and my sensitive nose.

I got to work and walked in the building and thought, "Wow, the smell has followed me inside." I walked up the stairs to my office on the third floor and started the realize the smell was in the stairwell, I'm thinking, "Whew, this really does smell like gas. We're, going to have to evacuate the buidling." Now mind you , there was no sense of urgency on my part, just matter of fact. I hadn't been in my office for more than a minute when someone came running in to let me know we were evacuating the building because of a gas leak. "Okay." I went to the bathroom then grabbed my stuff and emergency bag then went down the stairs, out the door and then waited with other staff members across the street, waiting for instructions.

Now at this point, if you don't know me, I should let you know that I'm an RN and work in a school. I'm standing there, waiting and thinkng what a great way to start off the New Year. Then Mr. R runs over to me, very excited and says "We need you right away, someone just fainted." Great! And I thought it was going to be a quiet day. I walk quickly with Mr. R (never run - everyone gets a little too excited and panicky) around to the other side of the building. It's a teacher that fainted but she's already on her feet by the time I get there.

"Are you okay?"
"No."
"What happened?"
"I don't know, I was fine then I got really nauseous and dizzy. I think I was overwhelmed by the smell of the gas."

We started to move everyone to a nearby school.

"Can you walk?"
"Yes."

I escorted her the block and a half to the other school, asking all my nursey questions and dicovered she's not been well. So now I know that she's been under extra stress, on medication and still feeling dizzy and nauseous.

"I don't want to alarm you but under the circumstances, you need to be assessed by a doctor."
"I don't want to go to the hospital!"
Jeez, why do people have to be so difficult.

As it turned out, her doctor was a couple blocks away, so we assigned another staff member to take her so I could stay with the students at the school. Off she went. Once inside the other school, the students were split up by classes to three different areas. I stayed with the youngest students because I was concerend for them the most. The kids were great and no one panicked. Then it began.."so and so is not felling well, etc..." Knowing I wouldn't be able to be in three places at once I instructed the teachers if anyone was complaining, call their parents immediately and if it's an emergency to come get me. Luckily I only had to call for a couple of students to be picked up. Soon we were given the "all clear" to go back to our school. The students were wonderful, no one was upset or anxious. It all worked out well, just as I knew it would.

Today it's all a mystery. No one knows what caused the smell. Con Ed says it was not a gas leak. My favorite theory it was swamp gas from New Jersey. New Jersey denies any involvement. Terrorists? I don't think so. Another New York mystery/conspiracy to be solved.

As always,
TOO

Yesterday was an amazing day in NYC - the sun was shining and the weather mild. The temperature got up to an unbelievable 72 degrees! It was wonderful to walk outside without a jacket - in January yet! I can't remember it ever being this warm in the middle of winter. Global warming - Al Gore must be right!

I spent the day with a friend and all of NYC walking through Central Park and enjoying the beautiful day. Everyone was out playing, running, rollerblading, volleyball, soccer and biking. Joy was in the air and everyone was participating . I didn't see a single angry face - unusual for NYC. It was certainly an unexpected day. How often can a New Yorker say they didn't run into an angry person?

Three winters ago was one of the coldest winters ever. It was so cold one week that a few stores in Times Square closed down because they didn't have heat. It was so cold that even with layers, a down coat and head covered, you couldn't spend more than a few minutes outside a a time. I remember my head being so wrapped up with only my eyes uncovered so I could see where I was going. Still, it felt as if my eyeballs would freeze.

Today was a lovely day as well. The temperature dropped down to the 50's so a heavy jacket was not required. I went out again to enjoy the sunshine and walk down Broadway on the Upper West Side. It felt good to get out and walk. I realized that I have not been walking as much as I usually do. With so much time off, instead of increasing my activity, I've been taking it easy - most likely the reason my pants were getting tight. Okay, now that I've acknowledged it, I must add the walking back in to my routine. It's a good thing I love to walk!

On some of my previous posts, I've been going on about the law of attraction and there are no coincidences. The more I talk about this, the more I realize it's true. Everywhere I turn, I am reminded by something I see or read. I bought a book the other day on health and the raw food diet. I mainly picked it up for the recipes (I'm a recipe junkie). I opened the book up and started skipping through the beginning and found myself reading that food carries a vibrational energy that influences how we feel when we consume it. The higher the vibrational energy, the better we feel. OMG - like attracts like even in our diet and food choices.

On my walk- about today, I stopped in to a Barnes & Noble for a pit-stop and then decided to go browse though my favorite section (the new age/inspirational). I'm always looking for something new to expand my mind. On the shelves I saw the "Conversations with God" series. I've never read these books but I've been seeing the author, Neale Donald Walsh, all over the place. I picked up one of the books and flipped open to a page and there it was again; we are all vibrational entities and attract people of the same frequency into our lives. Okay, I get it! I think I'm being told from every angle possible so I won't get discouraged. This is a concept I do believe in and find it reinforced all the time. Over the last several weeks I've had instances with friends bringing up a conversation I had planned to bring up. I'm finding I will finish an activity or have a similar experience a friend did several thousand miles away! Yes, we are all riding on the same frequency.

I will continue to talk about the law of attraction and let you know what comes my way over the next few weeks. Maybe I should start thinking about Hugh Jackman. If you're gonna dream, better dream big, right?

As always,
TOO

Haven't blogged in a couple days. With the troubling current events this past week, I found it difficult to write anything positive.

I've had a few days to think about the things I would like to accomplish in 2007. Along with attracting positive people and events into my life, I want to focus on keeping my excellent health. As some of you know, weight has always been a huge issue for me. Having been big in the past (code word - fat), I'm very conscientious of how I feel physically and emotionally when my weight is higher. Well, my pants are feeling a little tighter and my belly is pooching over the top of my skinny low rise jeans...not exactly a muffin top yet but it will be soon if I'm not careful. I'm feeling a little Rubenesque and zaftig. I am not going to step on a scale or make a resolution to lose weight because I hate diets. I think it's healthier to concentrate on eating real food and controlling portions. I refuse to eat "diet food."

A couple years ago, I stopped eating any foods that contained ingredients I couldn't pronounce. I was never a big fast food eater so it was no problem staying away from the Golden Arches or hanging with the King. Living in New York City presents many wonderful choices when it comes to finding something good to eat. Granted, there are many fast food joints throughout the city but there are also wonderful "little gems" that are not expensive, use real food and taste much better.

I suggest you all try something new - go to a restaurant you've never been to and check it out. Oh, and stay away from the Clown, King and Colonel.

Last night I was watching tv, trying to find something decent to watch and not having any luck. I decided to return some emails leaving the tv on in the background. Suddenly I heard some familiar music and looked up at the screen. It was a commercial advertising DVDs for the old tv series "Get Smart." I vaguely remember the show when it was first on but I was too young to remember much of the series. I did watch some of it in syndication when I was older. Still, I don't remember much of the story lines these many years later. I decided to check out the website selling the DVDs. There's a clip of Maxwell Smart using various articles of clothing as phones. I remembered the shoe phone but had forgotten all the other items used as phones. In one of the clips, he switches back and forth between his shoe, wallet, tie and belt trying to coordinate a rendezvous with other agents. I've watched that clip at least seven times. I think I should just get the DVDs. Who knew the shoe would be the first cell phone?

I had forgotten how funny the show was. It's amazing how much of that show has crept into our language. The catchphrase "missed it by that much" is something I've heard and said many times. Honorable mentions go to "would you believe" and "sorry about that chief." The humor still holds up and God knows we all need to laugh more these days. I am taking every opportunity to laugh and play. I suggest you all do the same!

As always,
TOO

Today is the first day of 2007! I took it easy, very happy I didn't have to go anywhere today. I've been working on including more creative activities each day such as writing, daydreaming, reading, dancing and singing. On top of these activities I've made sure to include laughter. I would have to say laughing is one of my most favorite things to do, including laughing at myself and the circumstances I find myself in.

I stopped into a store the other day, looking for something in particular and not having any luck. An older woman walked up to me, recognizing that vacant stare in my eyes and asked if she could be of assistance. I explained what I was looking for, that I had already asked another sales associate and they were unable to help. The women then asked me if I had tried the fourth floor. "There's a fourth floor? I can't tell you how many times I've been in this place and didn't realize you had a fourth floor." We both started to laugh. With this new information, I took it as a given I had to go to the fourth floor. She then told me I would need to take the elevator to get there. "Elevator? Where's the elevator?" We burst out laughing again as she took me by the hand and lead me to the elevator. And by the way, I did find what I needed on the fourth floor.

As part of my creative growth process I've begun to dance again. I love to dance. I'd forgotten how much I love to dance. There's nothing better than putting on some great music, whatever it is you like, and letting it all hang out. I remember as a child around five, I would put my mother's records on and dance around the living room. I would jump from chair to chair, onto the the sofa, over the back of the sofa and then dive back over the sofa to land on the cushions all to the rhythm of the music I was listening to. Frequently is was Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass. I can still remember the picture of the album cover of this woman covered in whipped cream. Very provocative but I didn't see it that way as a five year old.

Dance was always something I took with me as I got older. I didn't need anyone else, just some good music and room to move. Over the years, I danced less and less. I'd forgotten the joy it brought. Over the last few weeks I've begun to turn on the music more and more at home. First the singing started along to the music. Then the dancing began. Before I knew it, I was letting loose all over the apartment. This has now spilled over to the public arena. I have become a great embarrassment to my children. Apparently parents are not allowed to dance in public. Since updating my ipod, I've been listening to my favorite dance music everywhere I go. I can't help but get caught up in the music and start moving. I am not going to stop enjoying myself. Those kids will just have to get over it!

As always,
TOO