Last night I saw a friend who also happens to be clairvoyant. I've seen her from time to time over the last few months and everytime I see her she tells me the same thing: I am not living up to my potential. She seems to think there's this sensual goddess within me just screaming to get out. Huh. I don't know what to say. She suggested I start to dress differently and wear clothing to show off my curves. Okay, I know where that came from - I was dressed rather dowdy last night. It's was very cold yesterday and I had been chilled all day so I had a turtle-neck with a loose fitting grey sweater top. Yep, pretty dowdy. Here's the thing - I thought I had been dressing more sensuous. I dropped a few pounds, got a pair of sexy jeans that make my butt look fabulous and started wearing tight fitting tops - that's pretty sexy as far as I'm concerned. The problem is when I dress like that, I tend to get a lot of comments and attention from men - the kind of men I don't want attention from. Now I know men look. We all look. What I can't stand are the "Hey baby. " "I need to get me some of that!" and "Daaamn!" I don't mind when my girlfriends tell me my ass "looks good in those jeans" because I know there's no ulterior motive. Of course the person or persons I want to comment never say anything. Go figure.

Another suggestion from my psychic friend is to do things/activities with my hands and go to the museum often. She says I express myself through art and music. I do love music and arts and crafts. I listen to music as much as I can but I don't play or perform anymore. So I give private concerts for myself. As far as arts and crafts - I don't really have any talent in any specific area. When I do a project, it's because I've been inspired or had a vision and feel compelled to complete it. Sometimes it turns out well and sometimes it's a hideous failure. I think I'm fairly good at spatial relationships and composition but I don't have any aptitude for drawing or painting. I've always wanted to be able to draw but I don't have discipline or enough patience. I want it done NOW!

I did go to the museum today. I wanted to find a painting from the 17th century that would embody what I want to project. I went looking for paintings by Rubens (I identify with the women in the paintings) but none of them spoke to me. As I walked through the museum, I was drawn to the beauty of the sculptures - all of them in the likeness of real women - with curves! I think more young woman should go to the museum and see what women are supposed to look like and not the walking skeletons of the fashion industry.

Next on my stop was the modern impressionists (my favorite section of the museum) but - it was closed! Apparently the paintings are on loan to another museum. I love Cezanne , van Gogh, Renoir and Monet among others. I could sit in that section all day. I don't know why those paintings speak to me but I love 'em. Perhaps it's because I would like to live in those paintings. Oh well, I'll catch it next time. I was told the section would open up again in the next few months...

The Tiffany exhibit was amazing. Wow! The colors were so vibrant. I had gone early in the day, went to get some lunch and then went back to walk through the exhibit again. It's definitely worth seeing.

Here's to all my friends - if you have any suggestions as to how I should dress, please let me know. I guess I'm in need of a make-over!

As alwasys,
TOO