A Crappy Story

The call started out great – “Thank you for cooking the amazing dinner – it’s so yummy!!”…then something went wrong…

He: OMG let me tell you… people keep giving me their crap and I have so much crap already!!

Me: Well stop grabbing a hold of it… your hands aren’t big enough and there’s no room for any more crap at home.

He: You don’t get it – I have all this crap and don’t know what to do about it.

Me: Throw it away.

He: Geez – you just don’t get it… you’re an idiot!!  I’m hanging up!!

Me: I get home to see a large, steaming pile of crap in the middle of the floor.

He: See????  Didn’t I tell you how much crap this is???

Me: Yup… that’s certainly a big pile of crap for you to clean up.

He: What??? Can’t you help me?? 

He takes another bucket out and dumps more crap on the floor.

Me: Why are you bringing in more crap??

He: I still have more buckets to unload.  I told you I had a lot of crap.  It’s not only mine but all the crap I brought home from work!!

Me: You need to stop dumping the crap.

He: But I want you to see it ALL so you’ll understand.

Me: Oh, I understand completely.  It smells like shit in here.

He: I know!!  It stinks so bad.  Smell this steamy bucket too!!

Me: Stop it and clean up the mess.

He: I can’t!!!  I want you to sit here until you understand how bad this crap is.

Me: Oh I know… I could smell it all the way home.  I’ve had it.  If you want to live in the crap, it’s your business.  You brought the crap home  - it’s your responsibility.  I suggested throwing it out and cleaning the floor but I can see you want to stomp around in it and track it all over the apartment…. which will then take a lot of time and energy to clean up.  I’m out.

He: But wait…. What happened to all this “love” you talk about?  Why are you not helping me?  You’re not loving and supporting me and my crap!!! 

To be continued…