Money Makes the World Go 'Round

We're all familiar with the song from "Cabaret." As much as we tell ourselves that it's "not about the money".... it usually is - whether it's not having enough, spending too much on credit, trying to make more, feeling guilty for having it, hording it and being stingy or looking down upon those that don't have it. We all have certain feelings about it.

I grew up squarely middle-class - there was always food on the table and I never had to worry about my next meal. The mentality was "take care of others." I was always bringing friends home for a meal. My mother grew up during the depression. She would occasionally talk about not having enough but was never graphic about it. Living through that time period taught her to save and be thrifty... sometimes a little too thrifty. We had a drawer of plastic bags - the bags you put produce in. She would rinse them out, air dry, then put them in the drawer for later use. They were used over and over until they fell apart. She had a jar of various buttons - all shapes, colors and sizes. I knew if I ever lost a button, all I had to do was look through the jar, find what best matched and walla!! Everything was saved because you never knew when you might need it - something I took to heart. Unfortunately it made me a bit of a pack rat and have issues to this day with letting go of things and thoughts.

I didn't think I had issues around money but it's become apparent that I do. Money came easily to me growing up. Very rarely did I ever have to look for a job - they tended to follow me. I can only think of four times in my life where I actually had to look for work. There was always enough money - not rich by any means but I could always put food on the table and pay my bills. But something happened over the years. My attitude toward money changed. My thoughts evolved from, "money is fun, it will come, don't worry about it" to "how am I going to afford that, there goes my savings, I'll just have to do without, I'm gonna have to find a way to cut back even more..." What happened over the years???

If you look at the Law of Attraction... I have brought every circumstance into my life - positive and negative. So what does that say about me? What have been my thoughts surrounding money? For years I was in a relationship with a person who's constant thoughts were, "we'll never have enough and we can't afford that." Those thoughts became my own. Why did I believe them? My reality confirmed the statement. That is what I attracted into my life. If there was one thing I was good at attracting was lack. Lack abounded everywhere... from my friends constantly talking about having no money, attracting more debt, working more hours to earn more money - only to have expenses increase correspondingly.

I worked for companies that told me "this is all I can pay you.... take it or leave it." So I took it thinking I should be lucky to have any income at all, I'll just have to get another job to supplement my income. With that way of thinking, I set up the circumstances with the belief that the only way I could make more money was to work two or three jobs or take work I hated simple to pay the bills. After all, isn't this what society tells us to do??? If you are responsible, you will work as many hours as it takes to make ends meet. I've spent the last twenty years working myself into the ground because that's what I was supposed to do. I can't do it anymore. I don't have the energy to work 50 - 60 hours a week.

So how does one change from a lackful environment to one of abundance? For as long as I can remember, I have been aware of the saying, "Do what you love and the money will follow." Judging by my current financial circumstances, it's apparent my mind doesn't truly believe that saying. The things I love to do end up costing me money rather than bringing it in. I look to those that have turned their lives around and are now living in abundance. The common advice is:

1. Change your way of thinking (duh... I think I know that one, LOL).
2. Be grateful and appreciative for what you have right now (don't I know it and boy am I ever!).
3. Believe that the money is coming (much harder for me these days).
4. Take inspired action (when inspired, I do.... but why do I get bored so quickly?).
5. Surround yourself with positive people (yes, Yes, YES! But what about those negative folks I love?).
6. Listen to that inner voice (thank you Neale Donald Walsh for the reminder).
7. Don't be afraid to take a risk (even if 'it' fails, you still learn something valuable).
8. Keep dreaming (it's what keeps us going!).
9. Do it with gusto (if not, why do it at all)!
10. LOVE!!

I'll keep you all posted!!

The Process of Process Part 3

"What do you want?"

"What do you want your life to be like a year from now and how would that make you feel?"

Two very loaded questions I hear over and over again. You would think by now I'd have a very well thought out answer. I never said I knew the answers. Using the Law of Attraction is a process in and of itself. Some days it's easier said than done. Yes - I understand the ramifications of "thoughts become things" - it brings with it a huge sense of responsibility (and to be honest - a little anxiety). Sometimes I'm afraid of my own thoughts and where they might lead.

When I was a young adult, I didn't really think about manifestation... Going after my dreams was not so scary because I still had a mother at home that would take me in if I failed (which she never had to do). "LOA" was not part of my vocabulary however but I had always heard the phrase "like attracts like." What that meant to me was if I was in a bad mood, it would be reflected back to me with everyone I encountered. These days, the idea of being able to manifest anything I desire is frightening with thoughts of, "What kind of time will it involve? Will it take me away from other things I want to do?"

So what is it I really want? The stock answer most people give is "a million dollars!" Don't get me wrong - a million dollars would be great! After Uncle Sammy gets his cut, I'd have about $655,000 left... I have no idea what New York State would take... But it's not really a dollar amount I want - it's about the freedom it entails: the freedom to go anywhere in the world when I feel like it, the time to spend learning a new skill, the means to give to others and the peace of mind knowing all my needs are taken care of (a home fully paid for, transportation when I need it, food, clothing, etc...).

I grew up with the notion that time+work+sacrifice = money... in other words, the greater amount of time and energy I put in would equal correspondingly to the amount of money I would have. I never had a problem finding jobs - they always found me! I collected too many of them taking up an enormous amount of my time and energy and yet I could never get ahead. Until very recently, I had three jobs and no time, no energy and still no extra money.... so the theory ingrained in my head has been proven wrong time and time again.

So I sit here and think, "What can I do differently to have the life I want?" The answer is to have fun, enjoy the present and be appreciative of what you have - all stuff I've been working on the past year. I do have a little more time but my income has gone down and my debt has gone up (yikes!). I seem to be going in the opposite direction of where I want to be. The things I enjoy doing are becoming increasingly more difficult to do. Even my passion for cooking and sharing it with others has taken a back seat because there are weeks I can't afford the ingredients for the recipes I want to make. I haven't quite figured out how to change the equation so that passion (pursuing your dreams) = time AND money.

Perhaps it is just me keeping myself from realizing my dreams because I am afraid of the responsibility and time it will entail, not to mention the expenses it takes to get there. Changing my reality is an ongoing process - one that involves a great deal of patience and understanding on my part.

Ah... the joys of being human embroiled in the contrasts of life!