I know I said I would be posting another theatre story but this one takes precedent...

I made the mistake of going out "holiday
shopping" today. What was I thinking? I got stuck at Fifth Avenue
and 59th Street. Not only was every tourist in NYC at that corner
when I was there but there was a demonstration march going down Fifth
Ave starting at 59th St. The march was against the NYPD for the
shooting of Sean Bell a couple weeks ago. Not only do you have the
tourists and holiday shoppers but an angry mob to go with it. There
were barricades so you could only cross the street at one corner.

So here I am trying to cross the street, sandwiched in between
hundreds of people and I almost got in a fight. Yes! Me! I have a
very high tolerance for stupid behavior but I nearly lost it. I get
to the other side of the street and am trying to break away from the
crowd so I can enter Central Park to walk through the park rather than
battle people on 59th St. This woman behind me keeps pushing me...no,
shoving me. Having lived in NYC almost twenty years, I know how to
weave in and out of crowds without bumping into people and should I
accidentally bump into someone, I'm the first to say "I'm sorry" or
"excuse me." This woman just keeps shoving me and not one apologetic
peep comes out of her mouth. I finally turned around and said "would
you please stop pushing me?" Wherein she replied "everyone is pushing
me so BACK OFF!"

Now I'm faced with two options, turn back around, ignore the
comment and keep on walking (which is the option I usually take) or
take action. Something inside me snapped! Before I could stop
myself, I turned to face her and with the most menacing look I could
muster (you know the one - if my eyes had lasers she would have been
evaporated instantly) and growled "don't mess with me lady!" Now that
may seem kinda tame for what people usually say in NYC, but I was
ready to knock her down. I was actually restraining myself. What I
really wanted to say but censored before it came out of my mouth was
"lady, get your fat ass back to the mid-west where you belong." So
although "don't mess with me" came out, the line reading was with the
latter thought.

I've been trying to be so good lately! I've messed it all up and
now I'm going to hell! I must repent for my evil thoughts and
behavior. Since Santa does keep a list, I ain't gettin nothin' for
Christmas!

How was your day?

As always,
TOO