Week 2
I'm so addicted. I couldn't get on to the show in it's first season but have slowly been becoming attached. I have to watch this season - mostly because I want to see how Joey Fatone does. I've always thought he had charisma (and I like the funny ones). I had seen him perform a couple times on Broadway over the years and there is just something about him that is enjoyable. He looks like he's having such a good time that you can't help but be drawn into his performance.
I think the competition is going to be tough this year. Leila Ali has got that fighter spirit and I think it's going to be her and Joey head to head. Exciting to say the least!
As always,
TOO
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
Spring has Sprung!
I haven't posted anything in a while. I couldn't think of anything to say or at least think of anything I thought was worth reading.
I love this time of year. I've never been a cold weather person. Us So Cal gals like the beach and fun in the sun! I am deeply affected by SAD and have an acceptionally difficult time in February. Like magic, I start to feel better the first day of March. Maybe it's all in my head. I can only report my personal experience.
The past six months have been a period of transition for me. I'm feeling that deep desire to create, do something...anything. I just can't seem to figure out what it is yet. I've always had a secret desire to write...so I've been writing and nothing seems to be coming of it. I've got several notebooks filled with my writing and most of it is nonsense. I guess there's still that deep fear of not being good enough or thinking who would care to read anything I wrote. I'm waiting for the muse to come and visit and tell me what it is I'm supposed to do. I'm still waiting....
As always,
TOO
I love this time of year. I've never been a cold weather person. Us So Cal gals like the beach and fun in the sun! I am deeply affected by SAD and have an acceptionally difficult time in February. Like magic, I start to feel better the first day of March. Maybe it's all in my head. I can only report my personal experience.
The past six months have been a period of transition for me. I'm feeling that deep desire to create, do something...anything. I just can't seem to figure out what it is yet. I've always had a secret desire to write...so I've been writing and nothing seems to be coming of it. I've got several notebooks filled with my writing and most of it is nonsense. I guess there's still that deep fear of not being good enough or thinking who would care to read anything I wrote. I'm waiting for the muse to come and visit and tell me what it is I'm supposed to do. I'm still waiting....
As always,
TOO
Monday, March 12, 2007
Where is everybody?
I just realized I hadn't posted in a while. I found a new forum that I'm now addicted to. Part of the forum is a section about playing your way to better sex. I can't stay away. All of the posters are very funny and very intelligent. It's very free and open but not nasty or "dirty." There's a lot of sexual inuendo and play. Most of what I love is the humor. I believe if you can laugh about your sexuality, you've got a pretty healthy attitude towards sex. I've found it to be a safe place to discuss the differences between men and women, what people like and don't like but most of all, a place to express yourself without fear of judgement. If men and women could actually have open dialogues about sex, we would all have a much healthier attitudes towards the act. How else are we to find out what the other wants and not feel so ashamed about our bodies? Let's have more openness for all!
As always,
Too
As always,
Too
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Vision Boards
Recently I purchased a small bulletin board to start a vision board. I've been cutting out pictures and downloading places to put on this board. The purpose is to bring to mind all the things I'd like to manifest into my life. I've always been pretty good at bringing things into my life however lately, I've kinda lost focus. When I say lately, I don't mean the last couple months but the last few years. I feel I've made a positive change since the fall. It hasn't been all smooth sailing but I'm definitely made progress.
One of my strong suits is my ability to encourage others. I have a talent for spotting what it is people are trying to accomplish and pushing them gently on. I love to celebrate the best in others. There's something so wonderful about complimenting another. We just don't do it enough these days.
Back to the vision board...my goal is to put out as much positive energy to pave the way to happiness. I love to get that spark of inspiration and go with it. How exciting is that!
As always,
TOO
One of my strong suits is my ability to encourage others. I have a talent for spotting what it is people are trying to accomplish and pushing them gently on. I love to celebrate the best in others. There's something so wonderful about complimenting another. We just don't do it enough these days.
Back to the vision board...my goal is to put out as much positive energy to pave the way to happiness. I love to get that spark of inspiration and go with it. How exciting is that!
As always,
TOO
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Psychic Sponges
I discovered today I am a psychic sponge. This is different than being a psychic vampire. A psychic vampire drains the energy from another either conscious or unconsciously. A psychic sponge feels the energy of those around him/her. This can be a good or bad thing. If the energy is uplifting, this can be a great experience. If the energy is "heavy," or negative, it can be very draining or overwhelming system.
I've always been one of those people that everyone comes to ask for information, help, directions and listen to their problems. I draw these people to me everywhere I go. I used to think I had a sign on my forehead that said "Help Desk." I can be in an unfamiliar city and I will be the one people stop to ask for help. Where ever I've worked, I could have hung a shingle outside my office and charged for therapy. I don't mind it except when people start to take advantage of my good nature.
I'm a great listener. I don't know where I got this skill but it had benefited me all my life. It's especially great in interviews - I hardly have to talk at all. Maybe I should have been an investigative reporter.
I used to be able to deflect the negative vibes around me fairly easily. Working in the hospital broke down a lot of my defenses. When left the hospital environment, I was able to build up my defenses but after being bombarded and attacked over and over (I mean emotionally and psychically), I was left completely open and vulnerable. I've become even more sensitive over the last year. I'm beginning to learn how to block the negative energy and ground myself. Sometimes I just have to separate myself from the oofenders. Of course when I'm around positive, happy people - bring it on!
As I learn more about this phenomenon, I'll share.
As always,
TOO
I've always been one of those people that everyone comes to ask for information, help, directions and listen to their problems. I draw these people to me everywhere I go. I used to think I had a sign on my forehead that said "Help Desk." I can be in an unfamiliar city and I will be the one people stop to ask for help. Where ever I've worked, I could have hung a shingle outside my office and charged for therapy. I don't mind it except when people start to take advantage of my good nature.
I'm a great listener. I don't know where I got this skill but it had benefited me all my life. It's especially great in interviews - I hardly have to talk at all. Maybe I should have been an investigative reporter.
I used to be able to deflect the negative vibes around me fairly easily. Working in the hospital broke down a lot of my defenses. When left the hospital environment, I was able to build up my defenses but after being bombarded and attacked over and over (I mean emotionally and psychically), I was left completely open and vulnerable. I've become even more sensitive over the last year. I'm beginning to learn how to block the negative energy and ground myself. Sometimes I just have to separate myself from the oofenders. Of course when I'm around positive, happy people - bring it on!
As I learn more about this phenomenon, I'll share.
As always,
TOO
Monday, February 26, 2007
The Universe is Confusing
"Love removes masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within." -
James Baldwin
The last couple weeks have been very difficult. Not only am I dealing with the peak of my Seasonal Affect Disorder but I feel as if everyone doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Am I really that crazy? I can't tell because no one will talk to me....
I've had a very long history of not trusting people. There have been so many disappointments in my life that I turned off a lot of feelings just to protect myself from getting hurt. It also goes along with the pathology of low self-esteem and not feeling worthy etc... I've made a couple of close friends but only with great hesitation. I takes a great leap of faith on my part to let go enough to call someone a friend. I took that leap because I was told I wasn't crazy and I was a person worth getting to know. I laid all my feelings out on the line, thinking I'd found a friend that could accept me as I am... or so I thought. There comes a point in any relationship where you reveal deep secrets about yourself feeling a sense of release and security knowing that you won't be judged. This time it was going to be different. Then the past comes back to bite you.
I don't know if I pushed the boundaries of friendship, if I said something that was hurtful or whether I was just being strung along. When I let people know what's really going on inside my head, it's with the understanding that my intent is just to bring my thoughts to the surface for a little airing out and playtime. Something is definitely up though. No one is returning my emails. I guess I must have hopped on the crazy train on the way to insanity. I'm tired of opening myself up to be hurt. You're supposed to learn from every situation and grow. What I've learned is it's better to keep my mouth shut and close myself off then to allow others to get too close and hurt me. I left myself wide open and vulnerable and was stomped on. It's going to take a while to trust again, if I ever get to that point again in this lifetime....
As always,
TOO
James Baldwin
The last couple weeks have been very difficult. Not only am I dealing with the peak of my Seasonal Affect Disorder but I feel as if everyone doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Am I really that crazy? I can't tell because no one will talk to me....
I've had a very long history of not trusting people. There have been so many disappointments in my life that I turned off a lot of feelings just to protect myself from getting hurt. It also goes along with the pathology of low self-esteem and not feeling worthy etc... I've made a couple of close friends but only with great hesitation. I takes a great leap of faith on my part to let go enough to call someone a friend. I took that leap because I was told I wasn't crazy and I was a person worth getting to know. I laid all my feelings out on the line, thinking I'd found a friend that could accept me as I am... or so I thought. There comes a point in any relationship where you reveal deep secrets about yourself feeling a sense of release and security knowing that you won't be judged. This time it was going to be different. Then the past comes back to bite you.
I don't know if I pushed the boundaries of friendship, if I said something that was hurtful or whether I was just being strung along. When I let people know what's really going on inside my head, it's with the understanding that my intent is just to bring my thoughts to the surface for a little airing out and playtime. Something is definitely up though. No one is returning my emails. I guess I must have hopped on the crazy train on the way to insanity. I'm tired of opening myself up to be hurt. You're supposed to learn from every situation and grow. What I've learned is it's better to keep my mouth shut and close myself off then to allow others to get too close and hurt me. I left myself wide open and vulnerable and was stomped on. It's going to take a while to trust again, if I ever get to that point again in this lifetime....
As always,
TOO
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Ask, Believe, Recieve
Boy I love wine....
I'm sitting here watching the Oscars and drinking wine and getting that warm fuzzy feeling. There's nothing better than that warm fuzzy feeling...well, I can think of one.
I've been contemplating my life's purpose lately. I know what it is I'm here to do, at least I think I know what I'm here to do. My natural being is that of a healer. It is my purpose to help others. I'm cool with that. It's something I'm very good at. The problem I'm having is finding the medium in which to fulfill that purpose. I started out wanting to be a performer. It's something I always did growing up. I loved to play instruments, sing, act and dance and always managed to find an outlet to perform.
As I approached adulthood, performing is what I set my sights on. I lost my path for a short time while working to earn money. I realized very quickly that I wasn't happy and wanted to go back to college to earn a degree in performing arts. I figured it was a way to get experience and fulfill my other desire to get a degree. My step-father wasn't to keen on me getting a degree in theatre but I was determined to go for it. He told me he would not support my decision to earn a degree in performing arts but I didn't care. A couple weeks before I was to start back up again at a new school, my step-father died. How ironic. After my step-dad's death, my Mom confided in me that she always wanted me to follow my dream of performing and would do anything she could to support me. I did finish my degree and moved to NYC to pursue more skills and was accepted in a conservatory program.
I seemed to be on the right path and then everything changed. Through circumstances, I had to change my plans because of a back injury. I had to have surgery so I left the program. After the surgery while recuperating I had to get a job to support myself. I had always planned to go back to performing. My life took a different path. I got married, had a child and found I had even more responsibilities and put my dreams even further on the back-burner. The older I got, the more I began to thing that any career performing was just a fantasy. I now find my older and wanting to get back to want I originally wanted to do. but how do I start off performing after all these years. I know the kind of dedication it takes to succeed. Am I up for the task? I don't know but it's time to go for it! Maybe that's the wine talking, I don't care. May be the wine is just bringing to the surface what's always been there but I've been denying. I guess I'll know when I re-read this tomorrow. Let's see what the universe unfolds before me over the next few days...
As always,
TOO
I'm sitting here watching the Oscars and drinking wine and getting that warm fuzzy feeling. There's nothing better than that warm fuzzy feeling...well, I can think of one.
I've been contemplating my life's purpose lately. I know what it is I'm here to do, at least I think I know what I'm here to do. My natural being is that of a healer. It is my purpose to help others. I'm cool with that. It's something I'm very good at. The problem I'm having is finding the medium in which to fulfill that purpose. I started out wanting to be a performer. It's something I always did growing up. I loved to play instruments, sing, act and dance and always managed to find an outlet to perform.
As I approached adulthood, performing is what I set my sights on. I lost my path for a short time while working to earn money. I realized very quickly that I wasn't happy and wanted to go back to college to earn a degree in performing arts. I figured it was a way to get experience and fulfill my other desire to get a degree. My step-father wasn't to keen on me getting a degree in theatre but I was determined to go for it. He told me he would not support my decision to earn a degree in performing arts but I didn't care. A couple weeks before I was to start back up again at a new school, my step-father died. How ironic. After my step-dad's death, my Mom confided in me that she always wanted me to follow my dream of performing and would do anything she could to support me. I did finish my degree and moved to NYC to pursue more skills and was accepted in a conservatory program.
I seemed to be on the right path and then everything changed. Through circumstances, I had to change my plans because of a back injury. I had to have surgery so I left the program. After the surgery while recuperating I had to get a job to support myself. I had always planned to go back to performing. My life took a different path. I got married, had a child and found I had even more responsibilities and put my dreams even further on the back-burner. The older I got, the more I began to thing that any career performing was just a fantasy. I now find my older and wanting to get back to want I originally wanted to do. but how do I start off performing after all these years. I know the kind of dedication it takes to succeed. Am I up for the task? I don't know but it's time to go for it! Maybe that's the wine talking, I don't care. May be the wine is just bringing to the surface what's always been there but I've been denying. I guess I'll know when I re-read this tomorrow. Let's see what the universe unfolds before me over the next few days...
As always,
TOO
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